Fresh from successful efforts to convince Carrier from relocating 1,400 jobs from Indiana to Mexico, president-elect Donald Trump is on the way to the North Pole. He hopes to persuade Santa to kill plans to replace his help with Chinese and Mexican elves. ,,, My wife and I were at a drug store and she was looking for a small packet of wipes for an upcoming trip. "I've seen them here before." "Maybe you should ask for help," I said. She walked up and down the aisle. "I can't find them. "Maybe you should ask for help," I commented. She went to the front of the store. "Maybe you should ask for help" I said. "No," she said looking at the person at the register. "She just came in." I said, "There are other people to ask. Maybe you should ask for help." This message is brought to you as a service to men everywhere. ... Recently, Kardashian half-sister Kendall Jenner officially became a Victoria's Secret model and earned the wings the scantily dressed girls are known for. Many would hope that sister, Kim, and her husband, Kanye West, would get wings and fly away. ... A friend was recently trying to cheer me up after a set back. "What would your father advise you if you fell off a horse?. "Shoot the horse," I replied. "He believed in not wasting effort." ... A woman who accidentally invited a teenager to Thanksgiving followed through by celebrating with him. It turns out he was much better company than most members of her family. .... In a remake of "The Twilight Zone" written by liberal Democrats, a New York real estate developer is elected president of the United States against all odds. Oh wait...

I have reached that age where people worry about me when I fall asleep in public. I was snoozing at the Dolphin Hotel convention center in Orlando, Fla., when a woman asked me if I was OK. "Yeah, except for those vultures perched over in the corner," I replied. ...I also took a nostalgic tour of the Walt Disney Assisted Living Center for Retired Animated Creatures.