It was a float with a traffic jam and a cloud of smog. ...The inaugural trip on New York's City's Second Avenue subway was successful although confused commuters reported problems with the PA system after they found they could actually understand the announcements. ... I guess I was one of the last people to hear that Kanye West had a breakdown last year. "How could anyone tell?" I asked. Speaking of theKardashians, somebody asked me to name them. I responded: "Doc, Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey." Then someone showed me a photo of the family before all the plastic surgery. "See" I replied. "I was right. There's Sneezy and Dopey". .... My wife and I were at Rite Aid and she was looking for travel stuff. In particular, she was looking for a small packet. "I've seen them here before." "Maybe you should ask for help," I said. She walked up and down the aisle. "I can't find them. "Maybe you should ask for help," I commented. She went to the front of the store. "Maybe you should ask for help" I said. "No," she said looking at the person at the register. "She just came in." I said, "There are other people to ask. Maybe you should ask for help." This message is brought to you as a service to men everywhere. ... My wife told me she really liked the crunchy toppings I left for her salad. "Toppings?" "Yeah, in that plastic tub." "Those were dead mealworms for the birds."