Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts (741)

RANDOM THOUGHTS: BILL GATES

Scientists have uncovered evidence animals can breath through their rear ends in an emergency. We are waiting for a new phrase “butt breather” to take its place along with the time-honored “mouth breather”. I

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RANDOM THOUGTHS: RACING’S BAFFERT

 Some used my computer to look at a web page “Five buttermilk questions you were afraid to ask”. Just how threatening is buttermilk that someone would be afraid to ask a question. “Can I ask if you can drink it straight from the carton, oh, please no. no, no”. ...

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: GIULIANI

People may have heard the story about someone visiting hell to find that all the denizens had long utensils attached to their limbs that prevented them from eating. They constantly fought because of their inability to eat.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: ALEX RODRIGUEZ

In the Greek myth, Sispyhus rolls a ball up hill only to have it fall back to the bottom eternally. In the modern version, he is forever trying to select correct Captcha images.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: REP. MATT GAETZ

You know what I always say, it’s as easy as shooting horses in a barrel, or leading a fish to water. … Ah it’s spring, the flowers and the virus are in the air.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: MARS ROVER

My friend recommended I invest in a basket of stocks. I misheard him and put all my money in baskets.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: ANDREW CUOMO

Restaurant chain Arby’s is offering a fish sandwich for a limited time. The only problem is they are so used to drenching food in gravy.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: TED CRUZ

My wife reminded me the family pet was scheduled to go to the veterinarian’s for a test. “He has a CAT scan in on Friday,” she said. “No, he doesn’t’,” I replied.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: MARJORIE T. GREENE

Scientists have discovered recently that bees love cannabis and hope hemp could help restore bee populations. The major problem is finding a way to keep the insects from flying around aimlessly after visiting the plants.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: BIDEN

Southwest Airlines will ban emotional support animals in March, joining American, United and Delta. You mean I can’t bring my emotional support bat on the plane anymore?

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