I can finally say I’m hip. I had a dish with quinoa in it last week. Now, if I were just to start watching Downton Abbey. ... Was on the river bank yesterday and four buzzards appeared and were flying low at various spots. One came straight overhead and then didn't make such a pass again. I think they were checking me out. "I don't think he's quite ready, Fred.

According to some news reports, the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia was with a secret society of hunters when he died. Hopefully, they don't follow the Dick Cheney Hunting school. ...My theory of effective communication generation starts with this principle: Shut up while the other person is talking. ...  For every Internet troll, there is an equal and opposite troll. ... FIFA, the body governing international soccer, has just elected Gianni Infantino president. Ever vigilant, Las Vegas bookies are already setting the over/under on official bribes.

Kanye West's rants back stage on the TV show "Saturday Night Live" are unfortunate as he may not be in the running to be named Mr. Congeniality for the next Grammy awards. Of course, if you have seen the movie Amadeus, you realize that a great musician isn't necessarily a nice person. Now, I'm not comparing West to Mozart, because I just don't know what he would look like in a white wig. ... I figure the real reason West gets uptight is he can't hang onto his wife.