I went to a recital at a church in Jersey City this weekend which was held to benefit restoration of its organ. Someone asked me what I knew about organ restoration and I replied, "They have pills for that now." .... I was watching my wife working on eggs in the living room. "Are those deviled eggs?" I asked. "No, just mildly annoyed," she responded. ... The 160th birthday of Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychoanalysis, is this month, and it's worth a reminder that sometimes a candle, is just a candle.

I figured out how the dispute between GOP presidential contenders Donald Trump and Ted Cruz got started. Cruz was trying to tell an old joke with Trump in earshot. "Take my wife, please," the Ted cracked. "It looks like a few people already did," the Donald enjoined. Cruz then retorted that Trump's hair makes it look like his mother mated with a chia-pet.

Reading the debate over Kim Kardashian and another actress tweeting a topless picture of themselves, I have to give Kim credit for knowing how to stay in the public eye and make it seem like something special at a time when it's pretty easy to find pictures of naked people on the web. ... I understand that the next Republican presidential debate will include a pie-throwing session.