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Cannabis sales hits an estimated $238 million for Thanksgiving, one of the biggest sales periods for the drugs. Use of cannabis, of course, can make users slow moving and drowsy—somewhat hard to distinguish from what happens to people after a normal meal of turkey.

The widespread use of cannabis in stuffing may explain a reported drop of fights with crazy uncles. “Biden? Trump? Wow, look at the pretty lights. Do you have any Mallomars and chips? …  News Flash: The amphibious creature from the hit movie of 2916  “The Shape of Water”, died after being caught in a fishing net and could not be freed…. The Six Million Dollar Man has been fully depreciated and taken out of service. He is being replaced by the Six Hundred Thousand Man, manufactured in the Far East.… Roofs around the area are starting to bear signs “Santa must wear a mask.” Also it turns out on the retelling of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer that while the North Pole workforce has been little affected by COVID-19 the reindeer herd has been savaged by hoof-and-mouth disease. … Parents in the New York metropolitan area recently breathed a sigh of relief with the cancellation of SantaCon set for December 14, the rowdy pub crawl of people in Santa costumes, because of the pandemic.  It’s difficult to explain to your children why there are so many Santa throwing up in the street. Cancellation also means authorities won’t have to respond to numerous complaints about elf-tossing contests. SantaCon is reportedly a charitable fundraising, although the main beneficiaries, Budweiser and Coors, usually aren’t thought of as organizations needing charity.

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