... Out this week on one of America's favorite task: buying a new car. I noted that Rosetta Stone is offering "Car Salesman" as a new language. It's considered one of the most difficult to learn given the high level of double talk involved. I told my wife, "Isn't there something more fun we can do? Like give blood? ... Given the volatility of the stock market, the bulls and the bears have been joined by a new symbol, yo-yos. We've replaced our financial advisor with one of those plastic eight balls that "forecasts" the future. The last reading I got was "Why are looking at me? I don't know either." ... Dutch prosecutors charged a 42-year-old woman with calling her ex-boyfriend 65,000 times in the last year. That sounds a lot like my bill for wireless service.  .... There's been an out-of-court settlement between Sarah Lee and Kraft Foods in a two-year battle over whether the former's Ball Park Franks and the latter's Oscar Mayer hot dogs were the tastiest. It could have been worse: there was another suit threatened over who had the best buns.