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RANDOM THOUGHTS: THE ANNUAL ANOREXIA AWARENESS

The Annual Anorexia Awareness dinner dance is coming up in Northern New Jersey this month. There will be a light, very light, meal, and the floor won’t be very crowded, no matter how many people are on it..  There was a plan to have a joint event with the bulimics The sponsors figured they’d only need half the food but called it off when it was realized they’d need twice the number of bathrooms. The picnic outing with the agoraphobics has been postponed indefinitely ... The FBI has arrested 127 mobsters in the Northeast. As a result, garbage collection in New York and New Jersey has been suspended until further notice

... A new species of  crayfish, five inches long, has been discovered in Tennessee. The new "Bubba" crawdad goes well with that 30-ounce diank from Starbucks, the Pissiotta. Chiefs from New Orleans have converged on the site. ... My wife said, “I moved the cat litter box out of your way in the kitchen.” I said, “Thanks. I think it’s way too small for me.” … I’ve had a very bad cold this week and I thought it was extremely unfriendly of the local pharmacy to turn me down when I tried to order a case of Robitussin to go. ... This headline is running today online. There must be a better way to phrase this:  "Scientists try to mate Galapagos tortoise". That's an image I can live without.

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