New York Gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino was rejected for a role in the recently released movie, "Jackass 3" The casting director thought he would lower the dignity of the action. ... With the rather unusual positions that emerged from some of the Tea Party candidates, I've finally figured out what brand of drink the Tea Party represents: Chock Full o' Nuts." … Democrats in Congress got hearings postponed on charges that Representatives Charles Rangel and Maxine Waters violated ethics. They wanted to make sure voters' minds were focused on really important issues, primarily voting for Democrats. ... For the next election, I'm going to organize the Decaf Tea Party, which will promote many of the same issues, but it will be much mellower. ... I think I've figured out the definition of a product stack—products you don't need at prices you can't afford.