With Toyota apologizing for its cars, Tiger Woods, and a variety of politicians for their dalliances, I am starting the "Bob Scott School of Apologies" in which the curriculum will focus on the appropriate mea culpas for a published list of offenses. Testing will judge the appearance of sincerity and the ability to provide a lengthy explanation without actually issuing an apology. Graduates will earn the B.S. degree with those with top marks awarded the B.S. with Dishonors distinction. Actually, Golfer Woods noted that his relationship with a variety of women stemmed from his campaign to provide education about the ins and outs of golf.  There will also a graduate program in rehabilitation with the post of lecturer endowed as the “Charlie Sheen Visiting Chair”... The economy has been so bad that the old lady who lived in a shoe downsized to loafer and gave severance packages to many of her children. The story of the Three Little Pigs also had to be rewritten as the third pi, was unable to get a construction loan for the brick house. The new title is "The Big Bad Wolf on the Virtues of Pork, the Other White Meat." ... What's the difference between Goldman Sachs and loan sharks? The loan sharks aren't as greedy.