The accounting wing was closed because once inside most visitors went to sleep. Hoping that the magic of “A Night at the Museum” would work, supporters put Al Gore inside. But it was futile. … I can’t understand what the excitement is about the Vampire Diaries. I read one once. It said: Monday: Drank blood. Paid for werewolf's pet license. Got to bed by dawn. Tuesday: Drank blood. Got to bed by dawn. Bought anti-garlic spray. Wednesday: Drank Blood. Got … Well it’s just not that interesting. … Wal-Mart is selling coffins and urns online. With its usual penchant for service, the company could have stored-based funerals. It would be a really efficient. The old people pushing shopping carts at us could later be wheeled out the door at the appropriate time. But that probably wouldn’t work because an announcement of “Clean up on aisle five" could be  very disturbing. … There was a store, MyObamaShop, open at DC’s Union Station. I’m told they were all around the city before the election. Most closed because they were running extremely high deficits. Whatever your opinion of the president, I’m not into “My” as part of name. I hated Internet features like “MySuicideHotLine”; “MyMidLife Crisis” and “MyTeenageMemories.” … Parents have an enormous impact on our view of roles of men and women. Watching my mom prepare chickens for dinner on the farm made me realize that a woman’s place is in the home disemboweling small animals.