... Having gotten bumped up to first class this week, I had forgotten what it was like to have a real meal served in non-plastic container. I had a chicken wrap, cream mushroom soup, a fruit bowl and something with a fancy name that was essentially a brownie. I'm not used to good treatment so when I asked the flight attendant what I should do with the free headset, she replied, "Stick it in your ear." Her response to my hand gesture was way over the top. And conditions facing coach passengers have gone way down hill. It started when the flight attendant told those in coach to "Pay no attention to those people behind the curtain." One passenger asked for a hot towel like the ones in first class received.  The flight attendant told him to go the bathroom and rub two sheets of toilet paper together. When one guy complained the volume of the music was too low, he was told to hold the tin can closer to his ear. Another wondered if she could get a chicken rap too, the attendant replied, "I don't know about that, but I think if we got four of them together, we could teach them to sing "Sweet Adeline."  The last straw was when we got whole cashews while coach had peanuts. "I'd like to get better nuts," someone complained loudly. "Wouldn't we all?" I shouted to the back. ... What happens when you accidentally swap your Viagra for your Rogaine? It makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up.