... Somebody looked at my camera with the large telephoto lens on it. "Does that work?" "Yeah, if people don't do what I want, I hit them over the head with it." When I mentioned talking photos of turtles in a nearby pond, a friend asked? "What happens in the fall? Do they migrate?" "Yes, I replied. "Haven't you seen them in the fall in V formation heading south?" ... President Obama drew some fire for naming Alaska's Mountain, Denali, its native name, and removing the name of assassinated president William McKinley. Obviously, the Democrats have written off the powerful pro-McKinley vote in the next election. ... At a recent meeting of a nonprofit group of which I am a member, I told the chair "You're an idiot." "Now, now," he replied. "We need to remain positive here." "Okay, I'm positive you're an idiot." ... One can never communicate too much or eat too much homemade ice cream. ... Three people are claiming ownership of a chicken that wandered around a toll plaza on the San Francisco Bay Bridge. Obviously, the bird was trying to answer the age-old question of "Why did the chicken cross the bridge?" I would offer a Solomonic solutions, but since one bird only has two drumsticks, somebody needs to share.