Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 41 seconds

RANDOM THOUGHTS: JOSH DUGGAR

Josh DuggarA friend of mine was not doing so well in rehab. "But I thought he went to the Ford clinic," another acquaintance asked. "Yeah, but it was not the Betty Ford Clinic; it's the Rob Ford Clinic." "Rob Ford, the former Toronto mayor?" "It's a mixed bag. You don't get better, but you have a lot more fun." ... GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump was photographed on the campaign trail holding a bald eagle. Trump promised to cure baldness in all eagles with a new line of comb overs. "A toupee on every bird; a chicken in every pot, and an illegal Mexican in every car heading south," the Donald said.

... Meanwhile, Seagate Technology said it would produce the new Hillary Clinton self-erasing drive. It operates on a similar concept to flash paper used by bookies to record illegal bets. When the cops come, it goes up in smoke. ... I just saw a post that working longer hours has been linked to an increased risk of stroke. I have vowed to reduce by risk to near zero, quickly. ... Following revelations that former "19 Kids and Counting" star Josh Duggar had two Ashley Madison accounts, the embattled family man is considering starting a new series "Your Cheatin' Heart". Few believed his initial claim that he thought Ashley Madison was the wife of President James Madison and he was joining a fan club. Right now, "to be duggared" and "to be fogled" are leading the pack for new phrases to be included in this year's dictionaries. ... A Detroit area mayor is trying to ban owning and keeping personal flame throwers made by two manufacturers. They responded, "Flamethrowers don't start fires; people start fires" and they pointed to the serious uses of the devices—quick start for charcoal, removing unwanted chest hair and putting an end to your neighbor's borrowing things and not returning them. ... NASA has declared an asteroid headed our way will not destroy life on earth. Judging from the presidential campaign so far, it is less likely to threaten intelligent life.

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