Fresh from successful efforts to convince Carrier from relocating 1,400 jobs from Indiana to Mexico, president-elect Donald Trump is on the way to the North Pole. He hopes to persuade Santa to kill plans to replace his help with Chinese and Mexican elves. ,,, My wife and I were at a drug store and she was looking for a small packet of wipes for an upcoming trip. "I've seen them here before." "Maybe you should ask for help," I said. She walked up and down the aisle. "I can't find them. "Maybe you should ask for help," I commented. She went to the front of the store. "Maybe you should ask for help" I said. "No," she said looking at the person at the register. "She just came in." I said, "There are other people to ask. Maybe you should ask for help." This message is brought to you as a service to men everywhere. ... Recently, Kardashian half-sister Kendall Jenner officially became a Victoria's Secret model and earned the wings the scantily dressed girls are known for. Many would hope that sister, Kim, and her husband, Kanye West, would get wings and fly away. ... A friend was recently trying to cheer me up after a set back. "What would your father advise you if you fell off a horse?. "Shoot the horse," I replied. "He believed in not wasting effort." ... A woman who accidentally invited a teenager to Thanksgiving followed through by celebrating with him. It turns out he was much better company than most members of her family. .... In a remake of "The Twilight Zone" written by liberal Democrats, a New York real estate developer is elected president of the United States against all odds. Oh wait...

There have always been plenty of people to allege some corporate logos contain subliminal messages. One group of conspiracy fans has taken this further, claiming Taco Bells' "Run for the Border" campaign was actually designed to encourage illegal immigration. You may remember the continuing allegations that the Proctor & Gamble logo contains a Satanic symbol.

The guy next door is our neighborhood's angry-old man. A couple of nights ago, he sat in his car in front of his house for hours setting off and silencing the car's alarm system. I didn't start to worry until I found a piece of paper in his garbage can that was filled with the phrase "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"