In New York, I can picture women saying, "Go away creep" and calling the cops. The cop arrives and says, "Okay, perv, what's this deviant crap you're engaged in?" .... A news item this week says China will crack down on strippers who perform at rural funerals. Well, especially if they are older friends of the deceased. "Ah, grandma, put something on." Maybe it just keeps people from focusing so much on their grief. ... There have been many coyote spotting in Manhattan recently. Tourists were not phased: they generally felt the coyotes had better temperaments than many New Yorkers. ... Someone asked me to look up the dictionary definition of "Jackass". I did and sure enough there was Justin Bieber's picture. The recent roast of the singer was a duplication of effort. He's already half-baked. Meanwhile, residents of Bieber, California, are considering a name change. Rejected choices include "Jenner" and "Kardashian." ... A recent Yahoo feature listed 30 gross health habits of the past. That included people rarely changing their clothes and using urine to wash their faces. Many women said that just said like a house shared by a bunch of guys in their 20s. ... The annual North American ManurExpo, which showcases treatment, application and handling of manure, will be held next month in Chambersburg, Pa. You know your career as a motivational speaker has tanked when you appear there. "What we need is better...," well, you know. The Expo's symbol is a large fan and official slogans "Our Members Are Piling Up" and "The Smell of Success." The British version is "To the Manure Born". The conference is expected to do well although the number of entrants in the Miss Manure beauty contest was disappointing. ... Will all Republicans not running for president please form a line? It makes it much simpler to count the ones that are.