Former VP Dick Cheney recently underwent serious heart surgery in which a pump was installed. One interesting side effect is that it leaves him with no pulse. Besides that, he's been ordered to avoid garlic and not to look into mirrors. Read more...

After BP capped the well in the gulf of Mexico, apparently halting the flow of oil into the water, Americans waited breathlessly to see if Democrats have successfully capped vice president Joseph Biden's mouth. ... Much of the nation has been under a record heat wave this week. “How hot was it?” (Thank you class). It was so hot I saw a robin microwaving a warm to cool it office. It was so hot the possums in Indiana would only play dead on shaded roads. It was so hot a couple of Republican Congressmen said there might be something to global warming. Read more...

Millions of TV viewers have learned that the noisy vuvuzelas, the horns incessantly blaring at World Cup Soccer games, are a cure for irregularity. It's not a medically recommended practice. It's just something we've all thought about. Meanwhile, there's a new four-door version called the Volvozela, ready to hit the market. It gets less toots per mile. Read more...