“How many dead deer did you see on your trip to Indiana?” a friend asked. “Not nearly enough,” I replied. Actually, if someone could develop a carnivorous breed of deer whose diet was Canada geese we’d be a lot more tolerant of the hoofed creatures. ... Through the new airport screening system many law-abiding Americans have come to become acquainted with the phrase “Assume the position.” … Read more...

The German Opera, "Der Freishutz", which I just performed, involves a guy who sells his soul to the devil and gets a bunch of magic bullets. It's like Faust with guns. It's perfect for the U.S market. Get the NRA to sponsor it, and then all you’d have to do to interest most people is get rid of the singing, the orchestra and German - but leave the guns. The libretto calls for a wild boar to wander across the set. It would do well in the South