Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 12 seconds


Somebody asked me what sport I liked in the winter Olympics. I told them I was really looking forward to outdoor winter water polo, although weather conditions play a big role in whether events are held.

… The jumps and spins on Olympic ice skating this year that one competitor landed and started screwing himself into the ice. A new competition was the Johnny Wier Skating Costume Design competition in which participants were judged on hair and make up, along with the costumes themselves. …  Ravel’s “Bolero” was used by so many skaters that the judges threatened to disqualify the next contestant who used the repetitive music. … The skyboard racing and jumping have become so risky looking, I think the next evolution in the sport is to have contests aim themselves at a stone wall and see who bounces the furthest. I tend to prefer the summer games because of the waterboarding competition. … A sign of the times: The Tooth Fairy has begun leaving crypto currency. My kid didn’t like it. She complained she lost money on the tooth-Bitcoin exchange because of the recent volitivity. … “You are familiar with the phrases ‘Youth will be served.’ You know what that means?” my friend inquired. “Yeah, I replied. “It’s the menu of the day at a cannibal feast.” … The headline said, “11 000 People Die of a Heart Attack During Sex Each Year” But they die with a smile on their face

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