The local Tex-Mex restaurant we dined at last week has "Jim Bowie Filet Mignon" on the menu. "Jim Bowie?" my wife asked. "Yeah, it died at the Alamo," I replied. ... Saw an advertisement for an opportunity to meet a humanoid robot. I was disappointed when it turned out to be an Al Gore speech. ... The Rice Krispies' characters, Snap, Crackle and Pop, have been replaced by characters from countries with cheap and younger labor called Happy Guy, Smily Guy and Silly Guy.

Do you know what to call a very amorous person suffering from a disease caused by antibiotic-resistant germs? An incurable romantic. ... There is a new gang terrorizing the country whose members operate in complete silence and worship Marcel Marceau. They are, of course, the Criminal Mimes. ... It is now illegal in Las Vegas for any casino not to have a Cirque de Soleil show. ... ... Actor Harrison Ford's emergency landing in his airplane drew praise for his skill as a pilot.

Another round of topless photographs of Miley Cyrus hit the web this week. The thing we are dreading is the first Bruce Jenner topless shots. Meanwhile, editors at Sports Illustrated have been shattered after learning that one of their swimsuit models went flat during a shot. The New England Patriots are being blamed. ... Interesting that in London firefighters say light refracted by a Nutella jar caused a house fire. Can't you just see the future?: