When checking in at the United kiosk, I got the usual offers to upgrade to first class or get a seat with extra leg room. But this time, I discovered I could get a seat that doesn’t move for another $15. And then there is the plan to offer “Seats available for purchase’” in addition to the cost of the flight. ... The last time I was in an exit row, the attendant asked if I understood my duties. "Yes, " I replied. "It's to open the window and get my ass out of here as quickly as possible, while yelling, 'You're on your own.'" ... One of the major subjects in the next presidential debate will be "Why did the chicken cross the road?" It's sure to draw diametrically opposing views from Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. Liberals think crossing guards should be hired to allow the chickens to cross the road safely. Conservatives think the law of the highway should rule and only those chickens that are truly competitive will make it to the other side. The losers can be sold for animal food.  Libertarians contend that chickens have the right to cross the road whenever and wherever they please without government interference. And the National Rifle Association wants to safeguard the right of all chickens to carry guns while crossing the road, although it admits there are still serious technical issues involved in manufacturing tiny firearms for them. …. I was thinking of creating an anti-social network but then I read many of the blogging responses on news sites and realized that would it would be superfluous. … Boy, I can't wait until we get through with this ugly, contentious campaign and get back to ugly contentious gridlock on Capitol Hill.