After being unable to undo the spell, Hogwarts administrators reluctantly turn the Slytherin dorm into a new student center. ... Well the strike is over and the replacement candidates for president can go back to their regular lives. Oh wait, those aren’t replacements. Damn. …. A few of the questions for the upcoming presidential debate have been made public and frankly, I think they aren’t really fair. They are questions such as “Who was that woman I saw you with last night?” and “When did you stop beating your wife.” … Amanda Bynes, the out-of-control TV actress, has pled not guilty to a charge of hit-and-run. We believe that following her recent escapades that we can predict the lines of her next role “Hi, my name is Amanda, and I’m an a ……” From Samuel L. Jackson’s pro-Obama Ad “Wake the … Up”, I am issuing a prediction that he will not be a compensated spokesperson for Christian Mingle. … The Church of Scientology and the Tea Party have merged. It will be the first religious movement to promise spiritual development and no new taxes. Members will also debate the merits of whether L. Ron Hubbard or Ayn Rand is the greatest writer of the 20th century. An independent panel of judges pronounces the competition meaningless. …