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RANDOM THOUGHTS: BOEHNER

John Boehner, former Speaker of the House"You're like the Nile used to be." the optometrist said this week. "You mean that I'm a mighty, untamed river?" "No you have cataracts." ... During a recent physical, my doctor looked at me and said, "Well that's a good sign." "You mean I have a healthy appearance?" "No, I mean you're still breathing." ... Brazil appears to be the odds on favorite to win a gold medal in the 1,000-meter corruption competition for its Olympics preparation.

... I think an investment in Cruz-Fiorina campaign buttons could turn out to be a great investment in 20 years. ... The tone of the Republican presidential contest remained ugly as former House Speaker John Boehner accused Ted Cruz of being in league with the Daleks and Donald Trump promised to build an intergalactic wall to keep the Daleks out. A couple of Cruz's Senate colleagues said the comparison wasn't fair—They said the Daleks are a lot nicer. ... Rhode Island has drawn laughs for the March release of a tourism video that showed footage of a Reykjavik, Iceland, concert hall. I had seen that video and commented to a friend that I thought Rhode Island didn't have quite that many volcanoes and glaciers. In the meantime, a video of Rhode Island mistakenly broadcast in Iceland drew yawns. ... A friend wanted to know my reaction to Androids. I said, "They scare me. I'm afraid they are trying to take over the world." "I meant the phone," he replied. ... Saw a new slideshow feature on the internet "20 Celebrities You Don't Care About" followed by "25 Photos That Are Nowhere Nearly As Interesting as We Are Leading You To Believe."

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