A friend of mine was not doing so well in rehab. "But I thought he went to the Ford clinic," another acquaintance asked. "Yeah, but it was not the Betty Ford Clinic; it's the Rob Ford Clinic." "Rob Ford, the former Toronto mayor?" "It's a mixed bag. You don't get better, but you have a lot more fun." ... GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump was photographed on the campaign trail holding a bald eagle. Trump promised to cure baldness in all eagles with a new line of comb overs. "A toupee on every bird; a chicken in every pot, and an illegal Mexican in every car heading south," the Donald said.