.... I was asked why the New Jersey chicken crossed the road. I said I didn't know, but if it's in New Jersey it will never make it to the other side. ... Some may know that as part of the Halloween season there is a period called, Witches Sabbath, a day when the dead come to life, or as it is known in Hudson County, N.J., Election Day. ... A news item this week said that researchers have found a link between consumption of processed food and depression. Now I know why I feel so down when I run out of Twinkies. ... In sitting down to place an order for new checks, I saw all the nice designs I can choose. But I can't see why I want to make the process of getting rid of my money more attractive. ... Has anybody but me noticed that the stuttering tones heard before a dial tone kicks in on the telephone are the opening notes to Elton John's song "Crocodile Rock"? ... I asked my daughter what she wanted for her birthday next week. She said she didn't know but probably something small. It's depressing having her get more mature. I need to have another kid so I can have better material to write about.