I saw a local hotel that advertised, “We treat you like family.” I turned to a friend: “Yeah, they leave socks and underwear on the floor and argue with you during meals.”  … A recent frequently broadcast TV advertisement has me wondering--What does it take to get a roomful of people to listen to a presentation on house gutters?” … “Keeping Up with the Kardashian” has been canceled as the K sisters decided it was time to quit. I figure that’s because they sat down and tried to watch all the episodes from all 20 seasons in the last 14 years. Kourtney had to be put on suicide watch after getting through season 12. … Visitors to a recent track meet were surprised to see flies swarming around stop watches used for the races. As the winner broke the finish line tape, the insects would all land on the button used to stop the watch and give the winning results.  “I can’t believe it,” one said. “But are they always accurate in stopping the watch. I mean, doesn’t this end up with some results that can’t be trusted?” A race sponsor replied, “Yes but, you know, that’s just how flies time.” … Looks like thoroughbred horse trainer Bob Baffert may be leading the race for the doping hall of fame, after admitting he gave Kentucky Derby winner, Medina Spirit, a banned substance. He could join previous members in the hall, including racing champion Lance Armstrong and former baseball player Barry Bonds in winning a Golden Needle Award. Racing authorities are considering a new betting foursome—win, place, show and doped.