Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 16 seconds

RANDOM THOUGHTS: POPPA JAGGER

Mick Jagger,  The Rolling StonesI had a difficult night sleeping. The memory foam in my mattress had an attack of amnesia. Actually, there was a recent case in which a husband accused his wife of cheating after the mattress apparently remember the shape of another man. ... As always around Christmastime, some TV stations load up on syrupy movies such as "A Golden Christmas" and its sequels.

For those of us with an aversion to sugar, TV execs are pondering the proposed "Pit Bull Christmas". In the opening episode, police have to rescue Santa when he comes down the chimney at a suburban home and is trapped by snarling canines. ... At age 74, the Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger has become the father of his eighth child. I guess the rocker's desire to continue procreating means he's still looking for satisfaction and won't quit until he gets it. The mother of the child is age 29 which means Jagger is in the running for the Hugh Hefner lifetime achievement award. Just think when he's 50 years old, the new arrival will have lived beyond the 100th anniversary of the founding of the musical group. We're looking group's 60th anniversary tour, which could be the first assisted living rock music performance. ... I've reached the stage in life where I have to use proceeds from my reverse mortgage to pay my final expense insurance policy. ... The controversial Zombie nativity display in the Cincinnati area has been vandalized. Police warn the culprits that the creatures can be highly vindictive and can track them down.

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